Run free, wild child; you are never coming back

hi from lahti cityy on a rainy mayday holiday evening. i had a blast in borgå yesterday (and today!) where i celebrated mayday with some friends. i was wearing my new maxi dress and felt fab haha. i was drinking wayy too little and taking wayy to many selfies. i was feeling emotional and happy and blessed and hurt. all in all; i had a great day ! 

can't believe it's already MAY - time is going so fast it's almost scary. I can't wait to move back to borgå (29 days left) but still.. a part of me wishes i could stay here forever; i like this city, i like the anonymity. i like the night life, i like to walk around here. it's so so different from my hometown; i love it.

I'M INSPIRED

I'M HAPPY
I'M ALIVE
there is so much i wanna do. right now. tomorrow. forever. i'm feeling inspired to do things i've never done before, be fearless, create something worth while. i also want to enjoy the small things in life, like gooooood music or having coffee with my awesome friends. 

i haven't felt this strong in ages. 

m e  l i k e y y y

i promised myself earlier, that this month will be different - and trust me, it will. 
i will be different.
that's all.
adioooos 

I'm sailing away to a land of opportunity

heyyaa whatup ? i'm feeling fine as always after a good good weekend. on friday i went to borgå by bus (awesome bus music x x x x !) and did all kinds of cool things there, like went to a party, had coffee with frida, and saw divergent with cecci. 

i don't know, i've been feeling kinda off lately. 

 apparently i have a "edit the photos as much as possible" phase going on, but whatever, i like it.

 i want to do something with my hair .. 

change it.

change everything.

 If only New York wasn't so far away
 I promise the city won't get in our way
 When you're scared and alone,
 Just know that I'm already home - a great big world "already home"

Tomorrow's monday. 

I don't mind mondays.

Monday means routines, it means i have stuff to do 

it means; no time to think.

no time to worry

Exchange throwback

yup, it's throwback time. the video below is 100 % phone material - thank you samsung for these awesome pics and vids, hahahah, but hey no joking; the quality is crap. whatever, it sure cheers me up when i'm feelin' down.
the pics are in the correct order - from my first day to my last.

i do not miss it, not like that. 

i loved the people, i loved the language, i loved the culture.

but i also love the choice i made; to come back home early.

There's times where like
We find it hard
To hold on to something
That was never meant to be held onto

But you let it go

If it comes back it was meant to be

If not, just let it be

                            - Travie Mccoy 

"the last few days have been horrible. it's been so hard that i've been thinking about giving up with this crap. my emotions are killing me, i hate feeling so god damn lost. the image of a perfect exchange year in england has shattered away. i just want to feel something. i'm numb. 

i don't know, it's like, every day is a new chapter, a new story and i need to figure out the guideline over and over again. it's like i'm trying my hardest to be happy and positive, but the harder i tell myself to be something, the harder it is to react. i try to smile, but my body refuses to be the source for that small gesture - a tiny tiny lie. because i don't know, i don't know if i'm happy. i'm just getting used to living in a fog of confusion." something from my journal in december 2013, back when i was in england

i don't have anything else to tell you. byeee